Thursday, May 06, 2010

Well than....

I had planned a wonderful post. But I was reading a blog that was so sad.. and I feel so much for other people's emotions so I am kind of bummed right now..

But I still have good news I am still at 145.5 after having a wonderful day even though I ended it with Ice Cream! (just a single scoop), and I put in a 50 min walk! I am beyond proud of my resolve to work hard and push myself for more. the 50 min did NOT include running after my daughter at the library/walking around toys r us(which you all know is like way big!) and than walking another 15 min to and from car... so in all I feel that 50 min (timed) is a great accomplishment ON TOP of everything else I did yesterday!

I do have to say, I changed my bracelet a few times yesterday, not many but I realized something. I have been working hard at controlling or eliminating any negative thinking for more than quite some time now. So for me to do this challenge is more like a test than the performance. I have always been positive and my resolve to stay positive will increase in leaps and bounds! I just feel for others and reading a blog that is so sad to see others going through things that are not controlled by our own actions but by the actions of others hurts me...

Than again I feel for others more than anyone will ever know, (shhh... don't tell anyone). I am always the tough girl with the hard armadillo shell and usually my armor shell is in place and always works but to know fear/joy/love/hate, and to know that I fear the things that others might have to go through or that I anticipate and fear my own failure makes me lose my shell. Fear is a nasty, nasty "thing". It takes a life of its own inside of you! Even a fear for good things happening.. Well you know what I refuse fear! I refuse to compare and contrast for what could be to what is! I reject the feeling of being lost. I need to be strong and realize that fear is a figment of my imagination!  Fear of getting hurt while I work out is not going to stop me, fear of not making it to the top can not hinder me. Fear to know that someone somewhere is hurting. That that fear could hurt me too will not stop my life in its tracks!

I have been listening to a lot of motivational trainings for Arbonne. But most do not talk about the fear that is a result of others around you. And quite frankly as much as I love the people I know and feel for them I need to separate myself from other people's emotions to be internally happy. Which is what I truly want. As much as I have always been happy and enthusiastic about life there are certain times like these that when others suffer I suffer and I fear along with that suffering.... But my life has no room for suffering and fear I need to take control of who/what/and where I am with myself and stand up straight and just be me, happy and continue to know that there are worse things in this world than fear...(well ok no there isn't fear is as bad as it gets and its completely fake) Fear is only what you make of it and the amount of time and though that you give it.

So I am no longer giving fear the time of day. I am rejecting fear. I am not going to try I am going to do. I am going to be free of fear and from now on that word will no longer be in my vocabulary!

PS: there is only one other word that I have eliminated from my vocabulary: hate, I used it only once today in my post as an example I never use it in my everyday vocabulary because it is a very ugly word to be associated with. so adding to my ex vocabulary of words will be fear. There is no room in my world for those two words. And I think everyone should take a good hard look at the things we say every day to change how we feel everyday!

To a better life free of those two ugly words!!!!!!! Have a wonderful day everyone!!!!


  1. Okay Chupsie, You MUST go read this website:

    It's "The Word for Today", a little book that my close friends and I follow daily. We meet together on Thursday mornings to discuss how it has helped us during the week. The wisdom, insight and advice is invaluable, and it just happens to be about fear today. Don't think it's a cooincident.

  2. Great post. I think fear is a huge factor in many people's lives and they just don't realize it.



Measurments- sept 1, 2009

L arm: 12.5
R arm: 12.5
L thigh: 26
R thigh: 25.5
L calf: 15
R calf: 14.5
Bust: 34.5
Waist: 37
Thighs: 40.5