ok... post #3 prob most important

So, today I have been doing what they call in Italy a white diet... which consists of the list from earlier today... I have been doing exceptionally well.... I have not touched my daughter's food except a lil out of her juice box (bag) so she doesn't spill it... but surprisingly I feel great!!!! I had breakfast, which was yogurt, 1 slice of toast, tea and water. than I had white rice with a lil bit of salt for lunch with some bread with butter... and some water, a lil capre sun juice, and a few sips of orange juice.. I am not too hungry although almost dinner time I am getting there... and tonight will be chicken and some yogurt... the end... if im still hungry I will have either toast or rice... now... big thing here. I bought special Toy story cookies for baby... yummy ones too.. I DID NOT TOUCH!!! I am very proud of myself!!!!

I did it all day! my tummy feels great!

I need help!!!!

HOW DO I PUT A TWITTER LINK ON MY BLOG? I'M A TARD!!!! (yes that's an abbreviation for retarded because I don't like using the actual word but I'm dumb as a doornail sometimes... and its a perfect expression!)

THANKS!!!!!

Last night... not soo good...

So last night was a horrible night... am I fine this morning yes, I had hubby nurse me back to health. I had my daughter use me to put her feet up on my back while she slept. (not cool). But over all I am ok, I had a physical crash. I am back up and running today. hubby is concerned that I am completely going to burn out soon but I refuse to stop any time soon... But I won't tell him that cause that will really make him upset... avoiding the whole upset hubby... not good not good. 

So anyway, since I started my day today off right. I decided to step onto the scale! ----- wait for it... wait for it... yea 155, not good.. BUT!!! Oh yes I have an amazing but to this!!! I am pregnancy 155... aka, my cloths still fit, but I just feel big. like my muscles are returning and my fat is going!!!! I am becoming leaner! I also attribute the 155, to my 50gal of water a day... which might also be last night's problem... SOO I think i need to cut back just a little I think I flushed out all my electrolytes... (yes I have done this before)... its loads of fun! yea, I felt like someone slipped me Spanish fly, hubby says it was the guys from work... I don't even see the guys I work with every day!!!! he is such a dummy! ahaha! so anyway I feel like I have a hang over right now but that's about it.. but, I am not stopping!!!! I am going to be eating white rice for the next few days though.. I need to clean out all toxins from my system and than start to replenish. 

So white rice,

water (limited), 

orange juice, 

yogurt, 

toast, and 

only fruit, 

maybe eggs

but that's about it... till this weekend.. the only other thing will be sugar/honey (even though honey is not the best), and salt... maybe grilled chicken with a lil salt... no pepper.... :( No green tea pills no energy drinks.... NOTHING!!!!! and this morning was the last time I will have my raisin bread toast or black tea, only bay leave tea.  DAMN this is sooo going to suck!!!!

most importantly I can not eat my daughter's food!!!! I can eat as much of what I am allowed to eat but NOTHING ELSE!!!! So help me god!!!!

well that's the plan! along with my normal routine of life, I still plan on going out walking working out and doing whatever else I usually do! I do plan on keeping it low on the sugar... I don't know how but I do plan on it! not to mention I still have to cook for hubby and daughter through all of this... (so help me god).... BUT I know and will continue to recommit to my decision to this diet because I know that it is for my health! its my choice and as long as this is my choice its my choice to stay committed to it!

ok that's all for today, I have to go pee yet again!!!

Two walks!!!!!

YUP! I went for a walk this morning with my most amazing neighbor and bff!!!! and than again tonight! As a wind down from the most amazing day ever!!!! Talk about showing up and living life to the fullest! I worked today all of 4 hours! a lil in the morning and than a presentation. I got to spend time with some amazing people and time with my family! I took time to take care of myself too! I am also putting focus on my life and getting anything and everything done! Everything around me is better! I am enjoying life more and living more in the moment which is pretty cool cause I can be busy but at the same time enjoy what I am doing and the busy life that I am living! I am going to sleep exhausted but at the same time I am fine with that.

I feel great! besides all the aches and pains in my body I feel amazing! First off, I have to say that I have been stretching every day for the past few days ( being a gymnast). And it feels great! I feel better when I stretch out my muscles. They feel thinner and leaner. AMAZING! I also am fitting into my pants better than I did last week, Even though I feel very bloated right now. (had like 30 glasses of water today). I am having a little problem controlling my eating but overall I am not doing too bad. I am really enjoying just being and doing my thing.

I mean everything around me is better, I have a better relationship with hubby and my daughter. I got to enjoy and actually NOTICE the toads around the neighborhood while on my walk! was really cool I have never seen them before! And I was focused on the tasks at hand and amazing life that I am living!!!!

I had the most kickass day today!!!! I hope you all did too!!!!!

What are you being today???

Ok so, today yesterday and the day before I have been feeling quite sick, but I have not let that stop me!!!! I want to congradulate myself on not making any excuses and opening up the treadmill! I used the treadmill for 22 min yesterday!!! 8 of which I RAN!!!!!! Yes you heard it right here! I was running!!!! 

Besides me taking the initative to work on me I have soo much going on right now! my bff is coming back on the 13th of September!!!! OMG OMG OMG! life is good! anyway, besides that. I was able to get in touch with a childhood best friend who lives in Italy. I have not heard from her since I was in 8/9th grade! Facebook is an amazing thing! I was able to reconnect with all my friends from Italy! its just the coolest thing ever!

I am dedicated more to where I am in my life and also being out there more being more social instead of hiding indoors, accepting the people around me for who they are the way I am. despite the fact that some people in my life do not like my new attitude I dont care. I understand that is their opinion and that's fine for them. I am not wasting neg energy on people or places not worth my time and effort.  I am taking the initiative to survive! If your friends with me on fb you have seen this but I want everyone to actually watch this video its only 5 min! but after all the personal development I have been doing this just put everything back into perspective and said WAKE UP!!!!

THIS IS CHANGED MY LIFE

I don't know how to embed the video, but go to the link, its through fb. I am amazed at how simple passion and determination works! And I feel that is the story of my life. But I have stepped out of my comfort zone when it comes to myself physically and emotionally! I was sick last night and I still had the determination after putting my daughter to sleep to work out! And I have been showing up in my business with my decisions and dedication level. I have changed over my organized mommy blog to something more fitting my dedication to my business and what I am doing to get to the TOP!!!

Everything around me is changing so rapidly! I am making choices that meet and match my wants more and more. I want to be certain things and although I dont want to work out... I know working out will get me what I want! Also my bff is coming in about 3 weeks! I want to be ready and sexy to go out to the damn clubs and have a great time!!!

Today I am being:

Fit

Active

Loving

Giving

Sharing

Vulnerable

Determined

Organized

and best of all I am being ME!!!!

What are you being today???

Looking out instead of in

Taking the time to look at what is really on the outside of that box, feeling the uncomfortable feeling of not having your walls up and being vulnerable plays a huge part in making my days better. It sounds to odd to hear it, but that uncomfortable feeling has been a wake up call for me to actually take the time to look at the world around me and realize that I am only one of many and that I am not doing this alone. Not only that but that I can be happy with myself while being uncomfortable. It also helps me realize what I want more, It helps me put in prospective what is really important and what my wants and needs are.

Although I have stated many times what I will do and how my lack of integrity takes over I am happy to say that  I will no longer say anything instead I will do. I will do what feels uncomfortable to do. I will do what pushes me outside of my boundaries... I will not hide behind words. I will step into the light and be proud of having it shine on me! Be proud of who I am not what I have become. Be proud of what I look like and not remember what I once was.

Every day is a step in the right direction for a more fulfilling feeling! More of what I want in my life. Every day I will strive for what I want. And even when I feel like I have to, I will question myself is it something that I want? Will this activity (even when I dont want to do it) give me the result of something I want?

And with this blog it is clear that I WANT to lose weight... Which entails me having to work out. Having to eat less and having to stay active and be healthy. So this blog is no longer about what I have to do about getting in shape it is about what I want to do which is be in shape... AND in order to be in shape I have to be active.. so my blog will consist of me being! BEING what I want, Acting the way I want. Having what I want not having to do anything!!!!

I love who I am and how I am so I have to embrace me and feel vulnerable in order to go out there and grab hold of what I want and be whatever it is that is needed!

So today I want to be:
Happy!
Active!
Friendly!
Loving!
Sexy!
A Gymnast!
A Wife!
A Mommy!
A Business Woman!

I am so amazing and being that will surely be that backbone for being what I want! And EMBRACING ME!!!!

I hope everyone has the most empowering and amazing day ever!!!!

quick check in

Hi Everyone!
I just wanted to say that I am still here... controlling my eating... and just trying to stay a little more active each day. especially stretching my muscles out and staying focused! I have been posting but never publishing... Im still super busy at work, baby is sick now.. but things are good on my end hope everyone is doing well... end of aug and its cooling down very nicely!

My stand!

So I have been being more, yesterday I had a huge falling out with my mother in law. Honestly everything everyone else loves about me which is the fact that I am different I am crazy, but full of life and I do love and I share love .  And this picture proves it. Its two plants and two 2-dozen roses from people who love me for me! Does that say enough that people love me? I think it does! SO, why am I letting someone who has no impact on who I am sway me? Especially someone negative?

Anyway no more negative I have a windowsill filled with positive reinforcement!

On to my weight loss! Since it is super important to me right now! I have been making better healthier choices and slowly incorporating positive aspects into my day. I am staying more active even at work to just get up and move around a little. I am also eating better and prepping all my food ahead of time so that I can stay healthy! I am proud of how much has changed so quickly! I have so much more to do but first step is first. I am not thinking and wondering I am doing I am being first. Being strong being present and than doing what has to be done when it presents itself! And most importantly I am taking every day a step at a time and realizing that no matter what it is I have 25 different options of how to do it. One of them should work and be the right choice! Yet whatever I choose I have to remember it was my choice to make! I hope everyone is taking a stand and Enjoying their Thursday! Today is the most important day of your life! What are you doing with your day?

Integrity/ Momentum Training

So I have been taking a look and working on my integrity and let's just say I have a whole Blog here about my lack of integrity..

It taught me a great lesson... First I realize that I have a compulsive need to do more and expect so much more of myself than I can give my word about. I constantly feel the need to do more and when I have that feeling I say so much to when I look at what I have to own up to I make excuses for why not to do what I set out to do.

Its almost an impulse and most definitely  a self sabotaging activity. My goal in life should not to be to conquer the war...  It should be to have a choice and my choice is to have integrity about what I say and expecially with what I write! Its so important for me to be honest but when I say I will and change what I do... the person I am lying to myself... And that's the one thing I don't want!

Taking this journey step by step has also helped me realize that although I never want to compare and never want to have someone compare me to another person I have defined my life like that. I spend my days comparing myself and my life to my mother. And although me and my mom is the one person I look up to I feel that I have to do what she did in life but I realize now that my life is mine and she is only 1 part of who I am. She is the part that is generous. not the driven individual striving for more. Do I have the same tendencies? Yes.  But am I looking to compare and compete with her? No. I also realize that I avoid her for fear that I can not compare to what she has accomplished in life.

Now let me make the point to tell u I am not my mother nor will ever be. Nor do I want to be. I need to be conscious of my comparative nature and change into who I am and what I know is right. All my life my goal was to right the wrong my mom made with me and yes I am raising my child very different. But at the same time that is me doing it not my mother and my mother has nothing to do with it. Its my choice. That is what I want and as much as I want to use it as a comparison.. How can I compare to opposites?

I need to understand where I am going with my life and leave the pieces of my past behind where it belongs.. Those events in my life made me but its what I choose to do that defines me!

taking a step forward!

Salina: I love you! your like the best ever and that evil whore can find a new friend! hahaha! Thanks that made my day!

Momentum training: (workshop)

I want to say that last night was more an intro to what will be going on for the next few days but still I have to say that it was enjoyable.. yes it was late yes I was tired and yes, I felt very uncomfortable but I think that was the point...

I am starting to pick up on things that I do that I shouldn't why I do them and what I need to change... I am also starting to understand more about what I don't know that I don't even know I don't know! Hows that! I actually understand the concept! its really cool, I want to know and understand what I know is right to me and what it is that I am doing wrong and why I do it... No that's not it, there is no right/wrong its what we create! its all so amazing to know the way our brain functions and what we do to make things happen the way we want them to happen and what we perceive to be happening when we create such things in our minds.

So essentially we went over the concepts yesterday and I assume for the next 3 days we will be applying these concepts to establish them into our thoughts and ideas.

I do have to say, I am beginning to apply these things into my life already, I have always had a dislike for public transportation, maybe cause I rarely use it. I have no idea, (aka something I dont know), but putting myself in the predicament that I have to use public transportation to get to and from.... And you know what PROSPECTS... OMG I have to get over myself!!!!

I HAVE A GREAT IDEA! I have a few blogs which you all know... I think most of them many dont care to be apart of, this is more about me and myself, along with weight loss... but I talk a lot about my business on here. I also think it's very inappropriate! Sorry for those that read and don't understand... I know I have a blog about being mommy and one about being and staying organized... First and foremost I have to update my Organized blog... it seems to just be a running to do list.. But I want to change it completely! I want it to be a blog about my business! I want to blog about my journey to the top! about where I am taking my life and my goals and how this opportunity really is living a life by design! I will also have my vision board on my blog side! It can be a place for my team and prospects to visit and get info... I love the idea!

I will get on that this week... in the mean time I am going to clean up my organization blog and figure out what goes where and what I am going to be doing! I am still going to keep this blog! I love my community on here and you girls are always my biggest inspiration! I am committed to weight loss to this will always be about my health! but most importantly this will be my place! Who I am how I am and where I can come to write! I hope to keep the two blogs tied in directly and hope that you follow me on my professional journey like you all have with my personal ones!

XOXO to you all! I might be mia for the next week while I work and get things up and running but I will be by!

I have a problem

Today I weighed myself at 157! I know its not completely accurate but STILL!!!! THIS IS A BIG PROBLEM!!!!

I have momentum training tonight... http://www.momentumeducation.com/home.htm

And for the rest of the weekend... after that I am sooo going to start dropping the weight or I don't know what I am going to do!!! I feel gross!!!!


But although I feel grosso... I have to say I am sooo damn excited about training tonight! I think everyone here knows that I am always looking to better myself and become more well rounded and be more and accomplish more and yadayadayada... any way this is a personal development workshop! I have been looking forward to this ALLL and I mean ALL month of july!!!!

I do have to run.. my day will be super hectic till I get on the train at 5! than I get to really enjoy my time and spend it expanding my own horizons!



Like my sponsor says make it shine!!! BLING!!!!!

Lacking in weighloss

Ok so despite my overall success with stay on track and getting things done... I have been lacking in weight loss... I feel like I binge every afternoon! EVERY afternoon! Yesterday I have a salad, with some grilled chicken, it was great than I proceeded to have the left over chicken nuggets that belonged to my daughter and the left over pizza! I soo did not need that! I didn't even want it! But I was taken over with the impulse that it had to be eaten! SOMEONE HELP! I have no idea what to do... I am getting so much on track! I really am, yet... I am over eating for no reason at all! Worst of all I feel like I am gaining weight... More weight! I feel disgusting and gross! I need to start getting rid of it asap! I am almost... like 20 sheets of paper away from being completely utterly paperless, which will leave me time to go out for walks instead! Although with momentum this weekend I will be holed up in a room in the city thur-sunday! But OMG I am going to holed up with 2 of the MOST SUCCESSFUL leaders in my company! I am practically shaking in my boots to get to know them better and grow my business with their help! Think personal AND professional development from two amazing women who make 10,000+ a month!

The one thing I don't want to do is take my efforts off of weight loss again... It is so important to me to lose weight I have to stake a claim in what I am doing and continue to push forward around all my many obstacles!

Honestly I dont even know where to start to get back on track sometimes! its really quite sad!! I am sticking with what my team mate who is a personal trainer has gone over with me... but I keep on going over board! its soo frustrating! does anyone have any ideas for me in this funk and what I should do?

Maybe its stress, my period coming... or something but I can't control it... Or maybe I can and I need to focus harder... I don't know! Anyway thats where I am... lost, on this front... everywhere else.. amazing.. weightloss.... sad...

Walked

I am so proud of myself! I did an hour walk tonight... It has been a very long and gut wrenching day but my walk helped me get back to what is important. I am dedicated to making strides for my health. I feel great and rejuvenated thanks to a push from a wonderful friend. She is helping me even redo my diet and put more focus on what is important. I'm also really happy that hubby is going to start working to also lose weight! His first step... And its a big one is no more fast food! I am very proud of him! and it makes me want to take more of an initiative to lose weight myself! So today was all in all a bad day but everything that came out of today out weighs any and all negativity.. I feel like I have turned a new leaf and am progressing forward in a way I have never done before! I know I have a lot on my plate but feel that everything I do is for the best and I wouldn't want it any
other way!

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!