Saturday, November 14, 2009

Where I stand

Actually, I have no idea where I stand.

I am all over the place at the moment. I am trying to work out but I never get around to it, I have been great to eat what I want how I want and I have maintained this for a few weeks now. But I am not satisfied with where I stand. I am still 144, I am a size
8 and even though I am super happy to be back to my prepreg size I want more! I want to lose the last 10lbs! Or at least tone up and work out every day or so. I want to be in shape. My stomach is killing me, Prob from this girdle I'm wearing. I am tired and super stressed. I know working out will help me relax and help me stay focused. But I feel like I am driving myself up a wall. I want to be paperless, I want to maintain a clean house and cook clean and do everything else momminess! But I keep on pushing me away. I know this is very bad. I am almost avoiding the fact of these last 10lbs! I feel great that my cloths fit but I want them to fit better. I still have some that don't fit! Maybe I should pull them out and put them in
my closet so I can see them every day.

Uh I don't feel like doing all that work now. I want to finish what I started with this paperless buisness, its all I talk about lately I know its getting annoying but....

Thats all I have left is that envelope! And its just pay stubs and deposit receipts from the bank! Which I am not scanning! I will wait till next year to start a new year fresh. I will scan the last one of 09 for tax purposes and call it a day.

I finished up most of my school paperwork, I will actually finish it up tonight as soon as I am done. Than I have my writing to do, I might do it all tonight its still early and hubby is upstairs with the boys.... So I have the time.

I know I will feel so much better when I am 100% done, I wanted to work out tonight but my stomach started to hurt. Oh also I bought Chamomile tea so that it can help calm my nerves I have been a ball of stress lately. And worst is I hate taking it out on hubby. Its so upsetting. There is no need for both of us to be worked up for no reason. So, I am trying to make progress. I really am. I need to destress and I need to stay organized. I think what is stressing me is Monday,

on Monday I have my arbitration case for my accident. I have to do my nails and hair and be presentable, which I so don't feel like doing. But I shall! I am hoping that after that day I feel a little better. I want all of it to be over with. It isn't a big stress its just a bother. I also don't want to have to deal with this ever again.

Anyway that is what has been going on with me, I have been busy and distracted. I also have not had anything worth reading to post. Once I start with my writing I will post stuff so that you will all have something interesting to read.

Till tomorrow!

PS speaking of tomorrow I have decided I am getting a camera for xmas, We are going to buy it on black friday, so tomorrow we are going over to best buy to figure out which one I like better my upgraded canon power shot or a Nikon touch screen.... I can't decide, well more on that tomorrow... off to work I go!

1 comment:

  1. Hope you get a camera you love. Do you think maybe you are holding on to the paperwork cause you don't want to lose the last ten. Arriving at our destination can be scarier than starting. I find it motivating to watch videos of women who are really fit. And remember, it's not a destination, it's a journey. Just cause you get to your 'goal weight' doesn't mean it'll just gain it back. You have to maintain it. fun fun. lol. Well, now that I have given you a downer of a pep talk ....go you!



Measurments- sept 1, 2009

L arm: 12.5
R arm: 12.5
L thigh: 26
R thigh: 25.5
L calf: 15
R calf: 14.5
Bust: 34.5
Waist: 37
Thighs: 40.5