Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Punk

I was reading a few blogs today and wanted to talk about sometime, well two things that are present in my life right now, First off how I have a wonderful my life and how I have passion and love to fill it.

Most people do not know much about me on here, Yes I am a happy loving mommy and wife, but thats not all. I am your typical punk girl. Don't give a flyn f about life, just go with it. Heavy death metal music blasting in the car. Hoodies with skulls, black from head to toe. Dyed hair. Colored hair extensions, bracelets covering the arms. Hell I have had the I don't care attitude for as long as I can remember. Best part is I have always loved me for it. I have loved the way I looked, dressed and acted. People in high school were scared of me. Freshman year I used to pick on the seniors, yes at 5'1 I picked on 6' seniors. I had guys eating out of my hands, prissy girls avoided me. Everyone knew my name and everyone respected me either cause they knew me and loved me or didn't know me and feared me.

Now, despite my outward image, underneath my black cloths I always sported a brightly colored tank top or something of the sorts. I was odd to say the least, but I always did it with style. I could dress up whenever I wanted to but never for school. On my graduation day when people saw me in all white and in a skirt they all stopped and stared. It was unthinkable. I always mention on here about my cloths, expensive and fashionable. Well let me tell you I have always been like that. I have always loved good cloths and most my cloths are from when I was wearing baggy ripped jeans.

My passion to be different and unique took more than just cloths, my personality emulates it and so does my actions. I strive to be different to take a different path, not to conform to what the next person is doing. I want nothing to do with what is popular. I am usually the first person to do things and last to care what someone else is doing.

But now that is my passion being different. Do I work at, not really it just kind of happens. I have just always been different, I had a very unconventional upbringing. I have unconventional friendships. My life is not what a typical person would want or strive for. I love doing different things and having that feeling of WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!!!!

My life is all about passion and difference. I strive to accomplish something unimaginable. I have lived like this for years. I have had many people tell me I am crazy for all that I do. And even though now that I have a daughter I have calmed my antics down I still am one to make people stop and stare. Even the bad comes with all of my crazy ways, I have many back neck and shoulder problems due to work and sports injuries

But, I love my life, I love that I am 23 years old and have a daughter. That I am young enough to play and be crazy with her. To just up and go and not worry about all the little things that "parents" drive themselves crazy over. I am just a roll with the punches kind of girl! As long as me and my daughter have diapers and wipes we are good to go! We have loads of fun in this crazy fly by the seat of your pants kind of world! Never needed a first aid kit or a change of cloths while we are out. Never needed 101 other things to take care of her. She has me and I have her, thats about all it is.

As for hubby and me its all the same too! we are just up and go kind of people. We love to spend our time doing whatever it is our little heart desires. Many days it might just be sitting around doing nothing, other days we might go on an adventure and get lost somewhere, with our daughter in toe! We are all we need, a little rough around the edges and full of passion and good times. We are both young and I swear we get bad looks every where we go. I love it though, No one expects us to be parents, no one expects that we are in a loving and committed relationship (seeing how we are not actually married just engaged).

Hubby is just as messed up as I am. Which I love cause I can share my crazy antics with him. One day me and hubby went to 10 different stores looking for cotton candy lip gloss, well we didn't find any but I bought about 50 bucks worth of lip gloss that day. Best part was me and hubby both tried every single flavor! Oh god was that a fun day!

Life is amazing for the two of us. Yes I go crazy every day that I do not have our own place to call home, but we are comfortable here and we both love our lives very much. I am very unorthodox from the way I grew up. Many people see me still as a freak or just a complete loony. And that makes me happy. I love the fact that I am at an age where noone even knows what they want to do with the rest of their lives, and although becoming a parent at 22 was unplanned a parent at 24 was planned. So I wasn't too far off course. I also know for the most part what I want to do with the rest of my life. Do I know how it will pan out? HELL NO, But I have an outline of what and I have already started years ago on that outline and every day it fills my heart with joy that I have accomplished many things in my life that make me happy.

I can wake up every day and say I love my life, I am happy with where I am and how my future looks. I know that not having money is never a good thing, but I am tight about money because I never want to be broke not because we do not have money. Hell we have more money than we know what to do with, only problem we are not paying any rent... So its extra money only for the time being. I know that life takes time and I am willing to wait. I do not care not to have much money through my entire life, I would actually rather struggle with money than to have too much. I would rather live in a little apartment my whole life than have a 10 room mansion...

I love the way I am all messed up in the head and can believe myself that I can do what and how I want because I am different and love the fact that what I do has no correlation to anyone else or any one other thing... I am truly a punk in the real sense of . the word: the defiance of social norms of behavior...

well I leave you with the though that I am different, I am passionate about being different and I love my life of different...

2 comments:

  1. Well, from your profile pic I would never have guessed! I've always been the "shy" one growing up...always felt the lack of self confidence and what not. I only wished I knew how to be that outgoing fun person... I'm slowly learning though! Way to go on being who you are and striving to be different!

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  2. Love this. Good for you! (and I have a feeling your age isn't the reason you are so playful and carefree with your sweet child. I think that attitude is built in, no matter how old you are!)

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