Tuesday, January 12, 2010

death all around me...

So, I have to say that even though you might not have directly known someone their passing can be a depressing and un-nerving event.

I have a very good friend of mine and one thing we had in common was our relationship with our best friend, well his best friend just passed away on 1/3/2010. She was beautiful and smart and always loving. The love I have for her was the love I had for my best friend, She cared and loved my friend they were soul mates and couldn't live without each other. My friend is suffering very badly through his loss it is hard for me to even fathom what it would be like to be in his shoes right now. I want to cry every time I think about this. And to think, I never met her. But I feel like through my friend I have known her a life time. When you have a soul mate you emulate them through your own being. You are them and they are you. The hurt and pain is swelling inside of me, I can't break free from the pain I feel. I feel as if a part of me was ripped out of my soul. I feel horrible that a part of my good friend has died and there is nothing that can be said or done to make amends. Not even time.

Now as for my best childhood friend, the godmother of my daughter and someone that is my sister more than just a friend I have another loss. A person that has fought her life and lived it happily. My friend's loss was of someone who spent much of her past 10 years in a hospital. Yet she enjoyed life to the fullest, spending every second she could happy and fulfilling. Did she wind up passing because of her love to live life, yes, but she had a great life for what she had and was not afraid to go when her time came, her time came this past week. A belive that she embraced her own passing as she embraced her life.

Both of these ladies will be fondly missed and loved, for their own ability to love. I know that both of them will protect my friends from above and continue to love them. I know that a death means that they are no longer present but that they still remain with us in us. It is now my turn to stand strong as these ladies did to be there for my friends when they need me most.


  1. Such a beautiful post! I am sorry to hear about the loss, but like you said they will be living on through us :-)

  2. Pain is a natural part of our lives. I guess the one of the greatest things is that you have a compassionate soul; one that can feel pain. Pain for your friend's pain. I feel more sorry for those that are "pain free". Not because there isn't pain in the their lives and not because they are so "strong" that the pain doesn't affect them, but because they have no soul; no capability to feel pain.

    You are very fortunate...it is something that I, personally, am working on.



  3. I lost my best friend, my not-by-blood sister 11 years ago last week. Even after all this time I can remember exactly how it felt when I got the call.

    It seems unimaginable at first, but (trite as it sounds) time does heal. You learn to treasure the good times you had together & those help fill the empty place in your heart.

    Thinking of you & your friends,

  4. I'm sorry about the loss of your friends.



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