Focus

I feel I have completely lost focus of my new years resolution. I am determined to stay strong but I am all over the place.. And Tired and Cranky SUPER cranky.... I feel that the crankiness stems from the lack of breastfeeding which is a fantastic thing its just messing with my hormones! I also have munchies ALL the time.. I have no idea why.... But it is nice to sleep all night!

There has to be a happy medium somewhere... I have to find solace throughout my day! Not only that I have to keep that with me. a calm and a way to keep that calm. I am losing my temper way too quick I am on edge all the time. It doesn't help with hubby hurting my feelings (although he did apologize) Still  I have to rely on myself and keep myself together.....

I do have to say though that hubby despite his normal nature and prob the fact that he is trying to be nice is acting much more affectionate towards me! Which is odd, and wonderful all at the same time!

So as this post demonstrates I need to focus! There has to be a way to channel everything that is going on in my life at the moment.  I am overwhelmed and all over the place.

The business is picking up more than nicely! I am enjoying every minute of it. Its not too much to handle and I am working with people I throughly enjoy being around. Since I am "unofficially" done with breastfeeding I am going to start losing weight and dieting. I say unofficially because I am not sure if I am 100% done yet. It has only been 3 full days and that can always change you never know. Although I think my daughter even though it was her decision to stop, is having a hard time with it. She is clingier but I guess I should slow down and spend more cuddle time with her to make up for it right? I am serious about this weight loss at this point too. I am starting a new page now that I finally have my body back! And I plan on having my life and finances back also!

I have big plans for my new business and so far everything is going as planned! I am three weeks in and my March calender is OFF THE CHARTS!!!!! I am excited to see my business grow in leaps and bounds! I still plan on doing more but I will see if my overload can handle all the extra work.

Actually since I am here feeling great about my business but suckie about my body I am going to get a great workout in!

I am determined to be home by the end of the year and I am determined to be in shape by the summer time. I might not be able to wear a bikini but I will still look great!

I am wealthy in spirit, mind, and body! I am working towards making my future the best that it can be. And not even my lack of focus can take that away from me! 

Worst Feeling

The worst feeling in the world is to wake up on a Friday and honestly think its Saturday.

All nice and relaxed thinking I have nothing to do but just relax for the next hour. You know nice warm and cozy. Than it all hits you at once, FUCK, its not Saturday! Its Friday, and I'M LATE!!!!!! No it does not get any worse than that.

Although for all its worth, at least my boss is in a pleasant mood today. Usually he is all crazed and making me pull my hair out, yet today seems like it is going to be a pleasant day after all!

I really dont know about today

I had a good day. Decent to say the least, productive to say the most and calm to say at best. I wasn't "positive" or peppy today kind of drained and weary but like I said productive. I just kept going and got to where I wanted to be. Me and my daughter didn't fight. We got everything except the bank done (damn atm card doesn't work) I didn't let anything get the best of me... Although on my way home from work I though I was going to get pulled over. I felt like I wanted to die for 20  min! but besides that my day went stress free and just kind of went. I enjoyed it!

As for weight loss. I am doing my shakes every morning. I am maintaining... not going anywhere, the shakes are helping me maintain but I am not really pushing the weigh loss thing.. my neck finally feels better... so that is a plus tomorrow I am going to work out and get back on that horse! I do enjoy working out and I find that that is the only thing that I miss from my daily routine.

So anyway.. I am getting really tired from my very long day. off to bed for me.. I will do more posting tomorrow.

Vday

While I cook!

So I am here, cooking away. Besides last night's dinner. I have been eating really well these past few days! I am going to keep it up! I am determined to get back to where I was and get to where I want to. I am determined to lose the rest of this weight. There is nothing that will stop me!

I know that since the new year I have been slacking miserably but I am back to counting my cal and working out. Today I will not be working out cause I seriously hurt my neck sleeping wrong but that doesn't mean that I can't do twice as much tomorrow. I am determined to get rid of my tummy! and I am determined to get my thighs toned and muscular the way they used to be. I am taking care of myself and I am enjoying it along the way! I have incorporated shakes into my meal plan. Once every morning! to give me energy to keep going and vitamins to keep me healthy along the way. I am not going to start a weight loss program yet cause I am still breast feeding but that doesn't mean I can't keep my cal down and my workouts up!

There is a light at the end of this weight loss tunnel! I see it! I can see just the tiniest light! I know its there and thats what makes me want to keep going!

Than after I am done breast feeding I am soo doing a cleanse! I feel so bloated and have a feeling it is the shit that is in me that has to come out! There has to be a reason that I am not feeling the way I was before. I feel like either I have a constant bug or I am so full of shit that I feel like shit!

But That is not something that is going to stop me now! I am determined to make this work. I have to focus on weight loss! I need to stay in control. I need to count cal and hold myself accountable. It has been almost two months that I have been off track. That is way way way too long!

As I smell brownies cooking in the over, I know that those are not for me! I am going to stick by my ground on this one!

Ok well I really hope that everyone is going to have a wonderful Vday! I will be back tomorrow for a vday post. We are celebrating tomorrow, seeing how today will be overwhelmed with people. That, and me and hubby both have off tomorrow! So anyway... Enjoy your day! stay focused and be determined!

XOXO

ps: now to go figure out where hubby went he said he went to the "rondevo point"whatever that is supposed to mean??

anyway...

So

So yesterday I had another snow day... more like took the day. But lets not get technical. If my car is covered in snow... its a snow day!

Anyway I have been working out for the past two days. I have been feeling tight muscles and it feels GREAT! Also, I have been using the Arbonne products... and WOW! I love them! Of course I was skeptical on the products, that and my own laziness to use facial products but, the line is soo good and my face is soo radiant right now that I am compelled to use the whole system day and night! Which is beyond my realm of accomplishments!

Now I grew up with Mary Kay, and I always though that Mary Kay was soo great... but I do have to say that after reading up on the Arbonne products and the Mary Kay products and comparing them.... Nothing beats Arbonne!

Ok, so this isn't a sales pitch, I know I started as a consultant and what not but I am actually blown away by the products more than I was expected to! For the first time ever I can wear facial lotion and not have an OCD attack! I can use the products and not feel greasy and grimy about it. I've always felt that putting anything on my skin would make me want to take an acid bath to get it off. Yes, unfortunately my OCD is THAT bad! I've been able to control it over the past few years but its an odd love hate relationship.

I do have to say though for the first time my face feels comfortable and hydrated not dry so that I don't freak out and not greasy from any products! And I use the Cleanser, toner, serum, eye cream and day or night cream. Now it seems like soo much, and worse so much work... BUT, For how wonderful my face feels hell I will do it!

Oh and you know whats crazy, I have always had dark circles under my eyes, even when I was younger, The eye cream seriously has gotten rid of it that with just a touch of cover up its invisible! To get rid of my dark circles I used to have to wear cover up (alot of it), than I would put white eye shadow on to reduce the darkness... without makeup my eyes are as dark as they would be with cover up and white eye shadow! So you can imagine how far just a tiny bit of cover up can go now!

Its all soo cool! Now normally this wouldn't be for me a whole face system and what not, scary thing is I am soo enjoying it! I really am! Its crazy I know. And best of all I am taking the time out of every day to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!

Hell, I should seriously add that as part of my new years resolution. but than again with these products I think it would be kind of easy!

I really want to take care of myself better than I have been. I still have been breaking out because I have been eating just soo badly! I can't help it I don't know why. I really have to focus on eating better and taking care of myself, that includes what I put on the outside, what I put on the inside and what I do, or don't do (AKA working out)

And I want to take the time to relax and enjoy the fact that I am taking care of me! At this point in time Me is VERY important!

well I am off! talk to you later! have a great weekend everyone!

Snow day!

I have a day off today! Yah! The snow is falling we have a little over half a foot of snow. And there is no sign of stopping anytime soon.

I am enjoying my day off too! I didn't get to sleep in but I have a clean house which is always a great thing. And Last night I spent a lot of quality time just me and my book. I feel its coming together very nicely. And I am even getting to enjoy some time to myself today, Grandpa and Grandma have been taking my daughter ever other hour for an hour. Besides the fact that I have hubby and my brother in law taking over my living room while I type this but its all good.

I am feeling very relaxed today. And I am very much just living life today. If I did nothing today or if I did everything none of it would really matter. I have been taking as much time as possible to enjoy life today. Just hanging out and not worrying about. Ok well, today I am going to spend visiting other bloggers. I miss all my friends and have not had much more than the time I have had to write.

Have a great snow day everyone!

Tuesday's the day- weightloss

I guess I'm stickn to the old routine over here. Well anyway. I feel great today. I do not feel over weight, I also don't feel skinny I kind of just feel right. And best part I don't feel all bloated and crap! Which is awesome! I am still at 145, not that it bothers me to be at this point but I still want to be 10 lbs less. I can get there. I am taking my time. I am controlling my eating again. Yesterday I did fine but I had 2 cupcakes. One was my breakfast, and one was my snack. Although the rest of the day I ate a whole lot less. I prob averaged 1700-1800 cal. I do wish I didn't have the cupcakes though I would be down at least 500cal. But hey they were football cupcake with butter cream frosting... I caved... and it was sooooo goood!

This week I should be getting my protein shake powder! I am super excited! Why cause when I am really hungry and "need" to eat I will have a protein shake instead! Now I have done Herbalife before, so I know how the shakes smell and taste... and Let me tell you I got to smell the Vanilla Shake Powder on Saturday and I was in heaven! I forgot how damn good it is! I love them! I do really like the Arbonne products though. They have the option to add fiber into your shakes. Meanwhile Herbalife adds protein instead. Both help you feel full and satisfied but the extra fiber will keep you system clean if you know what I mean!

Anyway. I am looking forward to start on a regiment. A more solid plan. I have been dabbling in the workout field again... I am doing good. Its just slow. I am very scared to hurt my shoulder again. I know I have to get over that fear and just go with it, but... I'm sick of being injured!

ALSO.. During my GAG challenged I was determined not only to lose weight and clean out my insides but also to take care of my outsides. Well, we all know I went more green in many aspects. I tried to take some time just to take care of me, well I realized something. Along with my new years resolution I am not only going to slow down and live life more I am also in this for the long haul! I am taking the time and enjoying pampering by body. I feel this business came to me at the right time in my life. It came to me to say WAKE UP! look around, enjoy whats around you! Enjoy yourself! None the less this year is about living!

Hell with such a rough start to this year I am surprised I can still say that! But it is! I am committed to making and striving for more!

Its a new month and a time to restart the beginning of the year!( man am I corny!)  I am back on the positive horse and enjoying everything around me!

Bon Jovi and why he is the man of my dreams!

"Hey man I'm alive. I'm taken each day a night at a time. I'm feeln' like a Monday but someday I'll be Saturday night.... "

Monday is always about the hustle and bustle of working and getting back to the grind of schedule and responsibilities. Well, Yes I feel very much like Monday at this point. Where I am working hard now to enjoy my Saturdays. I want to enjoy my life and how I live it. I know that every day there is a struggle to keep on going. To keep pushing past a bad mood and to keep my hopes up. Well after reading "The Speed Trap" I have to say that I will do everything that has to get done and just do it. I have a new business and a very strange business philosophy, "Just do, Don't think".

Why Just do? Well easy, no stress. I do not want to stress about my responsibilities that are to be done. I just need to get them done. I met with a my business district manager today, got what I needed and went about my day. Did some learnings and went about my day. I will sit down and read the books she gave me later but I am thoroughly enjoying this just doing without thinking part. I do not feel stressed about what I am doing. And being stress free is the number one way to pick your head up and just enjoy life!

Of course its going to be hard to run a business around family and a 30 hour job. But I plan on sticking to the plan my DM has set up for me. Just do it and it will all fall into place. She is confident enough that it will so I am confident enough that it will too!

Hubby doesn't think the way I think, But it has taken me years to get here and this is not the first health and wellness company that I am a part of sooo, I already know what I am doing. Like I used to work for CVS, well if I went to Walgreens wouldn't it essentially be the same job? So I look at it like this. I am going to do this and I am going to be successful. I didn't stop last time because I couldn't do it. hell I was the best. But School made me choose between a business or going to school. The overhead was too much. Well I will not be having much overhead with this business. I plan to take money in before money goes out and I plan on keeping a profit!

Business is never easy. Yet, neither is life. And I love life so I love a challenge! BRING IT ON! (not the movie)

I am on overdrive a this point!

So the creative process for my book is doing quite well. I have a lot of jump off points and sooo many ideas just all over the place... but I started a new business! Yes, I did it I went for it! The company is called Arbonne! I am super excited I want to share with everyone how great this company really is! I started yesterday and should have all of my information soon enough. I really want to share with everyone my website. It is a wonderful company with wonderful products. Tilly... Im gonna drop you off some product tomorrow, so you can try it. Let me know when you get home... (I love my neighbor!)  I am also going to have some parties for the products in 2 weeks! Be there or be square! I have a feeling that for all my fellow bloggers I will be doing a vlog to showcase everything to you guys so you all don't feel left out. I can't wait to share more with you guys!

On other fronts, My tax return came and half went. It feels so great to pay things off! Never have to worry about paying again next month either! Just freedom! But anyway... I had a really rough week this past week. We had a squirrel invasion! and hubby is officially called the squirrel murderer! hehehe, But I got him good a few times myself! goin' through my daughter's toys and wreck'n our basement.. he deserved what he got! I'm not into animal cruelty or anything but the bastard ruined my week! I had to take a day off to clean up after the mess that was made and it completely threw me into a loop that I still haven't managed to break free from.

I am taking this whole slowing life down seriously. I really want a better life and a more enjoyable life too! I very much enjoyed yesterday and even though I just set myself up on a fast passed business track I do have to say I am trying to remain very calm about the whole situation. I have a very high goal to meet this month for my new Arbonne business, I am taking the bull by the horns on this and running with it! I am doing this to better our future. I have goals I want to meet and EXCEED!

ok I am off! I have tons of work to get done. Already talked to my mom, have loads more to get done! lata people! Have a wonderful superbowl sunday!

Writing

I started writing last night. I have two pages down and a more detailed outline of things I need to add into the book. I am thoroughly enjoying the writing process. All I have in my head is me and my best friend at this point. And just our ways and my memories are flooding my head at the moment. I love to reminisce on us.Our friendship is deep, our bond is strong and I want this book to portray that. I want it to be a gift to her more than anything. I just got done telling her more in detail about the book, she is psyched! about it. I am having her pick out the names for me... it was the only part I wasn't about to pull out of a hat. I called her character the sassy bitch that brings love and humor... she loves it!

As for names I got loads of help: http://www.halfdan.is/vestur/nofn.htm

I am very happy with my progress! I can't wait to share with you guys!