So where should I start the good or the bad?
Ok bad:
apt is single occupancy - so its a no go for 3 people
a 2 bedroom in town rented for 900 bucks like 2 weeks ago! Someone shoot me!
hubby and me had another fight.. :(
Now for the good:
Fight didn't last long, I feel that it is helping us make some sort of progress in our relationship. (which is always a good thing)
I was able to take a nice 2 hour nap yesterday, which I soo needed
I have 4 people besides myself looking for an apartment for me- Way to round up the troops!
I started downloading music to my ipod, so I have my italian music again- it makes me feel much better.
I have been doing more working out lately! GO ME!
I have been accomplishing tasks at a phenomenal rate(everything but laundry)
I have the cutest and crazy-ist child in the world!
since finding an apartment will be a long journey- we are going to pay off all debts that we owe- we hope it works, maybe we can increase our budget 200 bucks... we shall see.
hubby got his hours increased at work = raise!
I should also be getting a raise this new year! - We can do this!
I am in a very happy Christmas spirit today! - despite everything life is good!
I know that everything happens for a reason and I have to focus on that, life might stress me out and life might make me upset but in reality there is nothing I can complain about look at the difference in my lists! Life is good! I really have nothing to complain about, I have a loving hubby who occasionally I want to kill (but who doesn't occasionally want to kill their hubby- that's just life! ) My daughter is the best thing in this world! Last night all three of us were cuddling on the couch and she was forcing me and hubby's face together to kiss! ahahaha, hey I know she doesn't want us to fight either. She loves both of us!
So, you see that with all my ups and downs life is still good, I am healthy, so is hubby and he is also finally feeling better, my daughter is a healthy growing baby. Literally, she is having a growth spurt and I think she is having more teeth come in too. And she is still a pleasant little girl. Which I am soo blessed to have! Not only are we healthy but, I am feeling better about myself and my weight loss journey. I know it is not over, I have been back on track these past few days. I plan on losing these last 4 lbs by the end of the year and February for the last 5!
I plan on making big progress! I can do this! We can do this! 'Cause I know that I am not alone! There are times when I feel like shit and times I feel like giving up but not giving up is what it is all about. I know that everything I need in life I will have. And I have everything I need right now. I just have to find comfort in what I have and not be greedy with what I do not have!
Hell the only thing I want that I don't have is a place to call my own home. But, alas! I shall wait a be patient because it is those that wait that get what they need. I do not need much, so I can wait. I won't wait long, and I will be persistent in my search but I will not force anything.
Hubby yesterday was taken back and a little struck with fear that I might have found a place that we would move to by the end of the year. I think I might be moving a little fast for him. He isn't one for change like I am. So I have to take it easy with him. I don't want to put him in any sort of situation that will make him uncomfortable. Yet he did say that I should just find a place and let him know when we have to move, that all this back and forth between real estate agents and apartment maybe's drive him up a wall. So maybe I should calm down a little, I have a few people looking for me, I will continue to look myself but, nothing that is before February 1, give hubby some peace of mind for the holidays.
I love him very much and we have an agreement to work together through everything, so finding the right apartment by myself will not fly for me, weeding through to find a few that he can choose from, well I think we have a compromise. I will not bother hubby with what agents say, all the different options we have and the likes, I will involve him when I feel that it is his decision to choose from a select list of good enough for a family apartments!
I know that in a few months time- by the time we find something, he will be more accepting of the move, it took him about 6 months to care about our finances. Now he sits there like a hawk on top of our money situation. Its just so cute to see him all over what has to be done and what we can save and what needs to be paid. I can kind of sit back and watch the show, even though I am the one that pays the bills. :) It's just cute to see how far he has come, from never having a job, or responsibilities to having a family, a job, keeping finances, taking care of a child all day, knowing and caring about every little detail, making plans, scheduling stuff. Hell he used to say "I leave everything to my secretary" (his mom) , ahahaha, those days are long gone! I am so proud of him.
Yes, we are young, this is why all of this is relevant. Hubby is less than a year out of college. So I know that with each new thing we encounter it will be a new task and a new learning experience for him. I am ok with this, life is a learning experience. I have been doing all these things since I was 15, so I am seasoned at this point, I sometimes get frustrated with him but I know that he is doing the best he can. I also know my in-laws think I'm crazy when I say, we need to take it slow. That him working 4 hours a day is more than enough at the moment, he has to get used to going out every day for X amount of hours with a purpose! Its like having a part time job in high school. Its the best way to start. Hubby's hours will increase 2 days out of 5, to ease him into full time. I asked if he wanted to do more and he said he barely wanted to do those two days. Eventually, he will say its a piece of cake, but until than we will take it slow.
So, for the next month I will be taking it slow, just adjusting to the learning curve that hubby is at. I have to realize that we are different, and that working together is the most rewarding feeling in the world. I can slow down, I know I WANT to move out now, but I do not NEED to move out now. I told hubby the other day that I need to make this move as easy as possible not to disrupt the baby and her routine and not to throw her off track and everything, but I forgot about my love, my hubby is just the same, still young and inexperienced in doing things on his own. We have a long life to live and we have our life together, there is no need to rush through all of it.
Well, like I said I am very much in the Christmas mood! I will enjoy every day left of this year to the fullest and start on my new years resolution to pick my head up and look around enjoy life, don't just run through it! This will be a learning curve for me, so I guess I have to take a page out of hubby's book for this one!
Great post. Love your attitude. Thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteAs usual, I can so relate. I've been moving from place to place since I was 16, and now been in this house for TWO whole years... it's weird. On one hand, I have been aching to move, but because of court (custody battle) I can't. In reality, because my children are now school aged, it's not good to keep moving anyway. I am learning (by force) to accept my life without moving - it's been... weird. I have had to adjust my thinking and get creative. It's not easy, but it sounds like you are trying hard. That's good.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATS on getting motivated again. Me too. I've been "on plan" (which in reality means actually doing something other than nothing, eating a bit better, saying no to over-indulgences... taking it baby steps to start - trying to build those habits on a firm foundation. I'm sick of stacking the blocks high but unstable. Anyway, good job and good luck. Keep it up Chupsie!