I am wearing my old navy jeans

So prob I get scared that my cloths won't fit so I just dont try them on but MY JEANS DO FIT! Now I am a sucker for great cloths and old navy well, I love them but they aren't great cloths but I do have to say one thing. I LOVE OLD NAVY JEANS. The fit the style the comfort... it can go on forever. But anyway... I fit into my old navy jeans this is a great moment in my life that this time last year I though I would never see again. I have one more pair of pants to fit into and they are my corduroy's. That's the last pair of pants that I need to fit into. I am shaking in my boots just thinking about trying them on. Well not really cause I didn't wear my boots today. :) hehee! Also I weighed myself this morning and I have to report that I am 145.5! I hit my Oct 5th goal EARLY. my goal for the rest of the week will be to maintain that weight come Tuesday.

I know im a sucker for daily weigh in and I am always talking about them but if I can stay at 145.5 for the next 2 weeks I will really know this weight loss thing is for real! I am proud of myself to lose this kind of weight even though I feel like this is all going to change once I stop breastfeeding. Sometimes I feel like I'm cheating, I know bf makes you burn 500 cal a day, and just a lil working out or walk will burn off a lb a day for me. but, I don't know where its all coming from. cause seriously this past 2 weeks I have lost so much weight and I haven't done anything but bf... I have even been eating more. Unless That's what my body needed. I actually have up'd my cal count to somewhere between 1400-1600. with a 500 cal def a day, that's a total of 900-1000 cal. and if I burn about 400-500 more just by cooking cleaning and being a mommy, with the occasional walk I am looking at a really low number of 500 cal for my body. I do feel tired and have to go to bed early after a full day but I dont feel tired during the day. Yesturday I was seriously contemplating getting all the way down to 125 again, but I have 10lbs to go... wow that's it! Its kind of scary for me to even thing about it! I am staying with my 135 goal! I want to get there and stay there. I might be too small for all of my cloths but once I get there I really want to start gaining my mussels back so that might have a lil extra weight gain. I want to be in shape.

As for my stomach, I still have my tummy and unfortunately I don't think it will ever go away, but as long as I can hide it I dont think I really care that much. The only one that will see it is my hubby and my kids prob, but they can tough it out! I really want to lose the tummy more than anything so I can wear a bikini again but I will not be able to do that till I'm done having kids and get the surgery to fix my tummy, if I ever have the money for it. I'm not happy with my body yet but I am much happier than I was at the beginning of the year. I was depressed and outright disgusted with myself. I do have to thank my hubby though, he got me EA active and that was the first time I started losing weight. Even though I dont use it all the time now I do know that it is the most valuable tool I have. I do have a plan I really want to work out in the mornings. I am going to see when and how I can get started on this big feat! If I have to start when I reach 135 to keep myself tone and in shape or if I should gradually start one day a week. I have to sit down with myself and PUSH real hard to accomplish this but I will. One day! Before the GAG challenge is over! I will work out 5 mornings a week!

Damn that's a big to do for me! Although I used to be able to drag my butt to the gym at 730 in the am when I lived with my parents. but than again the only thing I had on my plate was work at the time. But I felt the best I ever did when I worked out 4-5 days a week! I was also working for my pt which ment every time I f'd up my body working out he would just fix me... I dont have the luxury any more, so I have to be careful of what I do. its bad enough my hip is out and my back is hurting. But I keep on pushing though. I do have to say yesterday walking with my bad hip was really bad but I did get in a 45 min walk. AND my dumb ass was walking in flip flops which was prob a really bad idea but I lived to tell the tail!

So I have a new goal, work out 5 mornings a week(preferably week day mornings). I know that somewhere inside of me I have the strength to do it! Where I have no f'n idea, but I will find it! I will start small, but I will get there. Also I have other things on my plate, at the moment my daughter's blanky! I gots to get that done. I will work on it tonight, today whatever I will do work today! That is my ultimate goal for the day. WORK ON BLANKY!!!!