Friday, October 02, 2009

honest scrap award #5... (very long)

5) I dont understand how anyone can let themselves gain so much weight without caring about it. I applaud all of you who are making a change in your life but personally I could never ever let myself be so heavy. I weighed so much due to my pregnancy and I fought day and night to get rid of the weight. I don't believe in being "the perfect size" but around 8-10 is the biggest I could see someone getting. yes its a very European mind set sorry ladies, but that's how I was raised.

So thats what I said in my honest scrap award, now I was being honest. that was the point, right? But I think I should of explained it a little bit more. I know many people who are sick because they don't care about their weight or health... example: my father, he has water around his heart due to poor diet and he could die at any minute from congestive heart failure, does he, has he ever, no... will he... well seing how he is stuborn with his own family (the only people that care about him) im assuming no...

I think this really mostly applies to men, expecially how im beyond frustrated with my own hubby who gained so much preg weight. He doesn't care that his cloths don't fit, he just wants new ones. (he has lost weight, due to my direct intervention but still he has no care in the world about it)

But this also applies for women too.

My mother in law... (I actually posted about a 3 page post about this but decided to keep it private cause it was inapporpriate) she has many health concerns and if she doesn't lose the excess 50lbs that she is carring around with her, her health will get worse.. much worse.. but she doesn't care. Now looking at her, you might say well she looks fine to me, she is a size 14. Not really that bad, she also carries it very well but her health is suffering MAJORLY from the weight and she sees no correlation.

Now for the main reason I have this oppinion and where the root of being raised with this mind set comes in. My cuz is 27. (this is my aunt's daughter the one who raised me, My cuz is more than a sister to me she really is like a twin sister, we share everything and are beyond close)She has struggled with her weight all her life, ever since she was a child. She was always over weight. I would say by the time she was 18 she was a minumum of 100lbs over weight. Now in italy you are not going to find cloths that are plus size like you do here. You are lucky to find anything in a size 12. So anyway, My cuz never cared that she was over weight. She had no stress besides school she never worked till she was 24 years old. She finished high school at the age of 19. So really there was nothing keeping her from trying to be healthy. She ate what she wanted when she wanted with no limit. She is great in the kitchen too! Ok so now you know a lil bit about her. Now, you need to know that she was a premie and was born deaf in one ear and with a bunch of other heath problems. Yet they all "kind of" subsided by the time she was a teen so she really was only deaf in 1 ear. Now, If your 100lbs over weight, you can't go out to a store and buy cloths cause you don't fit into them don't you think you should do something? No, My cuz didn't care about her weight, she didn't care that my aunt had to make all her cloths, that all she could wear was men's tshirts. Hell my mom fits into her cloths from when she was 10 years old! my mom's a size 6. Anyway. My cuz just kept on gaining weight till one day my aunt said enough. Your going on a diet and I don't care. It was to a point that my cuz was put on a diet and than she would sneek snacks durring the day.. (very childish for a 20year old but whatever)... After my aunt almost killed my cuz(almost litteraly) My cuz said fine I will lose weight. She started losing weight and she started to see that her weight was caused by a huge problem. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks, a year later she needed surgery.. now she is finally at a healthy weight, she exercises regualry and takes care of herself... The main turning point in my cuz's weight loss was when she was able to buy a pair of jeans... it was the first jeans she ever fit into. She was sooo happy that she said I will never gain more weight that I can't fit into these jeans.. she spent $150 on them. Since she has lost the weight she has been able to find a job( yes in italy they do hire based on apperance)...

I kind of explained it in a way that shows different aspect of weight loss, But my mother in law, my father and my cuz all have/had MAJOR heath problems, I was raised to take care of my body. I was raised that the greatest gift was a gift from god, that gift was your body. We take advantage of our body's every day. Abuse and manipulate it to do things that it is not supposed to. We are not suposed to have tattoo's and piercings, we are not supposed to put excess weight on joints and organs. Build up of garbage in our intestines and arteries cause big health problems... Our body is a temple, a temple of worship that god has given us. He has given us life, health and happieness. Isn't that what life is supposed to be about?

now Finally I have one other thing to say... My family friend that has cancer, she is like my father and my cuz, no regard for her health. Over weight was an understatement for her. I feel more than ashamed to say that she did it to herself, but it is only the truth. I feel for her and for her family. It is the worst thing in the world, I wish nothing upon anyone. She was a great lady that always did for others. yet she though mc'd was a healthy option... She had diabites and never took care of herself. She lost 100lbs in 1 month's time. due to the cancer. It is very upsetting just to think of losing her. Yet the point of all of this is not taking care of your weight, not taking care of your health, not praising and honoring the temple of god (which is your body), it truely hurts me.

I'm the kind of person that cares too much. For someone to be hurt hurts me just as much if not more. Durring my pregnancy I had gestation diabites, I gained alot of weight. Too much weight. I had it in me to make sure that I took care of my health. My mother in law things that having 2 hot dogs is a healthy dinner for me a breastfeeding mother... I have a problem with this... I see veggies and fruits as a healthy option. Yes my vise is pasta, but did I ever mention that I love what I put on pasta? The other day it was peppers tomatos and carrots. It was sooo good! I have a problem with fruit cause it can still give me diabeties. The only way for me to control my sugar is my measurements. I measure how much sugar I have a day and no more. I love sweets and except for a slight mess up here and there I have learned to keep a tight grasp on them.

Now I can't say that overweight and unheathy go hand in hand. My grandfather was at a decent weight all his life he killed himself with diabeties. Do you ladies see how this is becoming a trend? I joined this challenge because you ladies inspire me! All of you work so hard. Compaired to you all I slack like you wouldn't belive. Am I ashamed that I can't get up to work out like I want to, you bet your ass I am. But I do try my hardest. And without you ladies behind me I don't think I could do anything.

I do not judge people on apperance and never have. Yet I feel hurt when I care more about someone's heath than they do. It's not right. It's not fair. People should take care of themselves and live a happy and healthy life. Is my life different than everyone elses. You bet it is! But in no way are we different. We all have one common goal to come away from this challenge better off. By giving ourselves a gift of health.


  1. Don't you hate it when you feel like you HAVE to explain yourself? I do. I always wish others would "just get me" with no questions asked!

  2. For me, simply more words in the same vein doesn't make what you said any less demeaning to those you have judged and continue to judge harshly.

    That's just MY opinion, though.

  3. Overweight does not always mean unhealthy. I had one doctor tell me my cholesteral was insanely high, i was pre-diabetic, and she put me on tons of meds, including a weightloss drug. In the end it made me even worse off. I did lose weight, but I was only eating about 500 cal a day. As soon as I was off the drug I gained it all back within 3 months. My second doctor put me through a plethora of tests and everything came out perfectly normal. She said that there was no reason for me to stress myself out about losing weight as long as I was happy with myself. I had a good diet and exercised for 3 hours a week. I was still about 80lbs overweight according to conventional standards, but at the time I felt great.

    I think people just want you to understand that weight problems don't mean that we don't care about our health. For most of us it is emotional problems that stand in our way, as it is for me. We have to fix ourselves internally. It took a lifetime for me to gain all this weight, and I find that I have to discover they why before I can truly help myself. I am taking steps to a healthier life but its not an instant fix. I do understand where you are coming from. I have family and friends in the same boat too. But try to look beyond their weight. Look for the WHY, not just the what. It shows your love and devotion to your family because you care about them so much.

  4. My older brother, my HERO, died from water swelling around his heart. In his early twenties. And it kills me . . . just EATS ME up inside that I watch everyone else, all my siblings and my parents . . . EVEN THOUGH THEY WATCHED HIM DIE . . . . they continue on with the same lifestyle, not fighting the weight. My Dad's doctor has told him he has to lose the weight, and quick, and that he has one foot in the grave. I love them, so-so-SO much. They are my family. They are BIG and they are beautiful. But I am so scared of who will die next. So I understand what you are trying to say.


  5. Thank you christine.. at least someone is on the same page as me... thank you sheila too for just understanding



Measurments- sept 1, 2009

L arm: 12.5
R arm: 12.5
L thigh: 26
R thigh: 25.5
L calf: 15
R calf: 14.5
Bust: 34.5
Waist: 37
Thighs: 40.5